Celebrating Father’s Day with Steve Wagner

00:00:01 Steve

I think anybody that becomes an expert in their field naturally gets a lot of confidence. You have a lot of confidence in your sport and what you're doing. And I think that spills over into everything that you do or in your life or that you try to do because you have that experience behind you where something that you've learned and you've mastered.

00:00:20 Steve

And you understand you now have the understanding that you can really do.

00:00:23 Steve

That with anything.

00:00:28 Kristi

Welcome to the other three years, a show for anyone who has an Olympic sized dream. They want to turn into a reality.

00:00:38 Kristi

Hello and welcome to this week's episode of the other three years. My name is Christy Wagner, and this week I have an awesome Father's Day episode featuring my dad, Stephen Wagner.

00:00:51 Kristi

My dad is really my role model and I think that I'm a lot like him and it was just so special and fun to have him on the pod.

00:01:01 Kristi

Past, he has truly been there for everything in my rowing career, as have you know, my mom and brother and many people, of course. But I do sometimes think my dad is one of the only people in the world that can talk to me when I'm really in a funk or just in a bad mood or something like that.

00:01:22 Kristi

And so I just really appreciate him.

00:01:25 Kristi

Always, but especially in those moments. But anyways, it was a really great conversation and I think everyone will really enjoy hearing from my dad about rowing and beyond what I was like growing up. Yeah, it was just a super fun episode. And I'm I'm really grateful to him for coming on the podcast.

00:01:46 Kristi

But before we get into that, here is an update on what is currently going on in my training.

00:01:51 Kristi

We are in Princeton for about 3 more weeks. We're sort of in the middle of our training block here in Princeton. We are in our kind of last volume push and then we will do a little bit more intensity in the coming weeks. So I think we're pretty excited about that. We just got our like last.

00:02:11 Kristi

Training block Yoshi sends us like our training plan on these spreadsheets, and then I take a screenshot of it and save it to my favorites. But literally this one like includes racing at the Olympics so.

00:02:23 Kristi

That's kind of wild because it's been a lot of these sheets and this is the last one of the 2024 cycle. So that's pretty exciting. But also you know a little nerve wracking, but training has been going well. We're doing a mix of singles, rowing and double s, rowing obviously urging and lifting some cross training and stuff like that.

00:02:43 Kristi

It's going to be really hot in Princeton this week, so I think we're just going to try to, you know, really temper the heat and not try to spend too much time in the sun especially.

00:02:52 Kristi

During the day this weekend, it was obviously Father's Day. Sadly, I did not get to celebrate in person with my dad, but I know we went golfing with my brother, which I'm sure was more fun than me being there as well. I'm not that good at golf.

00:03:06 Kristi

In Princeton, we went on Saturday. They honored us at the Trenton Thunder baseball game, which was really nice, but also just so funny. But it was fun. It was a fun thing to do, fun to have something to do. So it was really nice of them to do that for us. And a pretty.

00:03:27 Kristi

Cool way to spend, you know. Saturday afternoon after a long trip.

00:03:31 Kristi

Week on Sunday I went for a bike ride with one of my teammates, Michelle, which was fun, kind of early in the day before the he got got really hot this upcoming weekend. We're going to barbecue at Sophia's old host family, so that's something to look forward to.

00:03:51 Kristi

Which will be pretty fun. Yeah, just mostly excited to keep keep training.

00:03:56 Kristi

And the highlight of today was really that we got two free meals for breakfast. They ordered us breakfast for the wrong day. They were supposed to order it for tomorrow, but they accidentally ordered it for today, which means we have breakfast today and tomorrow. So that's pretty exciting. Bagel sandwiches. And then one of my other teammates.

00:04:16 Kristi

Miss Nikki, her host Mom, is a co-owner of a crepe shop, jam and crepes in Princeton, and they gave us a bunch of food as well, so we got to take that home from second practice.

00:04:26 Kristi

This, which was also really delicious. So today was a very pleasant surprise, full of free food, which when you are burning the amount of calories that we're burning, that is a pretty exciting day.

00:04:38 Kristi

The other thing that I've been doing is watching the swimming US Olympic swimming trials.

00:04:43 Kristi

Which is super fun to watch. Also, just like mind blowing that they are competing in an NFL stadium and just the difference between like swimming and rowing is.

00:04:55 Kristi

So crazy, but it's obviously really fun and it's fun to kind of get into the Olympic spirit a little bit more with that. So that's been a fun thing. My major complaint is that it starts at 8:00 PM every night, like the prime time events. I think it could be a little bit earlier, but whatever. I guess that's a bone to pick with, like NBC.

00:05:13 Kristi

So now it is time for my conversation with my dad, Stephen Wagner.

00:05:21 Kristi

OK, we're recording with my dad. Yay.

00:05:27 Steve

Yay.

00:05:29 Kristi

Hi, dad.

00:05:30 Steve

Hi, Christy.

00:05:32 Kristi

Do you want to introduce yourself to all the listeners?

00:05:36 Steve

Sure, I'm happy to. Yeah. My name is Stephen Wagner. I am Christie's dad, married to Christie's mom. Patty. I have two children and Joe.

00:05:46 Steve

I am one of six kids, so I have a big immediate family's pretty big. Yeah, it's great. I'm a big rowing dad.

00:05:53 Kristi

People always think that you rode, but you didn't know until you were an adult.

00:05:57 Steve

I didn't. I went to Northeastern University, and I remember my first day on campus. I was walking through. I didn't really know anybody, and these guys came up to me and they said will you row? And I didn't know anything about it. And I said no. I walked away. So they've tried to recruit me.

00:06:15 Steve

My first day.

00:06:16 Steve

But I live next door to rowers and it was uh, I learned a little about the sport. Then I learned that you had to get up at like 5:30 in the morning and.

00:06:24 Steve

Get into the tanks or go over into the Charles River and it was like it didn't seem so appealing to me.

00:06:31 Kristi

No, but you guys went to the head of the Charles, right?

00:06:34 Steve

Used to go to the head of the Charles every year. Yeah, every year it was great. Big fun thing in Boston.

00:06:39 Kristi

Yes, back when you would go and bury kegs, right?

00:06:44 Steve

Oh my gosh.

00:06:46 Steve

We would go and we would set up blankets on the banks of the Charles and we would just have a party and yeah, there's a lot of stories that I probably won't tell today that used to happen.

00:06:59 Steve

At the head of the.

00:07:01 Steve

Never in a million years would have dreamed that I would have been cheering for my daughter rowing by and know so much about know so much about the sport now. I mean then I didn't know. You know, you just see all these beautiful boats going by. It was a beautiful day and we just enjoyed it but had no clue what was going on. And of course, like at the head of the Charles, it's like it's all time. So you don't even know who's.

00:07:21 Steve

Wins till they get to the end and we're sitting there cheering for people as they're run by us, but not really even knowing what we're looking.

00:07:29 Steve

At so it was.

00:07:30 Steve

Pretty funny.

00:07:31 Kristi

Yes. What was your sort of initial thoughts when I started growing freshman year of high school?

00:07:40 Steve

Well, again, I didn't really know a lot about it. I knew that you liked it right away. You had two cousins that rode Brett and Kelly and Ericson. They seemed to really like it and you were excited to try it. And I think a lot of your influence maybe came from them.

00:07:56 Steve

When you started rowing for Wayland Weston, it was a good thing for you, I think.

00:08:00 Steve

That you like me, were always very tall, right? Always from the day you were born. Until until now. But your body was growing very fast. And I think as tall people, it's very kind of hard. Even if you are coordinated, you don't appear to be coordinated. So it's difficult playing traditional sports until you kind of.

00:08:22 Steve

Get into your body.

00:08:23 Steve

I think that while you were a good athlete, you didn't feel the confidence in yourself as an athlete until you started growing as a parent. It was great to watch and see, so I was excited.

00:08:34 Steve

When you started to grow.

00:08:36 Kristi

Except that you guys were like, what the heck is going on with this sport? What are these regattas? What do we have to do? What's going on?

00:08:43 Steve

Oh, God. Well, your mom, of course, signs up for everything. So we have been the parents. I feel since your freshman year of high school, who have, you know, brought all of the snacks and all the drinks and set up the tents and all of that.

00:08:56 Steve

It's great. I mean it's, you know, the race of how long does the race last? 8 minutes. And you're there all day long. So it really is a wonderful event for parents and getting to know your community and other people. So that part is really great. And I we've always enjoyed that and still enjoy that.

00:09:12 Kristi

Mm-hmm. Although you guys don't get to run down the beach following my races anymore.

00:09:17 Steve

I don't know. I still.

00:09:19

If if it need.

00:09:20 Steve

Better than park. I still run. I didn't. You know, in Serbia, they kind of kept me at Bay, but yeah.

00:09:28 Kristi

Sort of were preluding to this a little bit, but when I was a little kid, did you ever think that I would one day be an Olympian?

00:09:37 Steve

When you were a little kid.

00:09:39 Steve

Uh.

00:09:40 Steve

I felt like, you know, this is going to sound corny, but it's true. I felt like you could do anything you wanted to do. I felt like we were so lucky that you were smart.

00:09:53 Steve

And you were fully abled and you you really could have done. You could do anything you want. And so while I never, you know, thought of you being an Olympian that wasn't even on my radar.

00:10:05 Steve

You know, had it.

00:10:06 Steve

Been.

00:10:06 Steve

Of course, I would have said. Yeah, of course you could be an Olympian. Maybe not a rowing. I probably would have thought you would have been an Olympic swimmer because you were a great swimmer. You probably could have done that too. But no, you always were a high achieving well positioned person and it's like you really could have done anything you want. I felt like that with your brother too.

00:10:26 Steve

Either of you could have done anything you wanted to do. I still feel like that.

00:10:30 Kristi

Well, you guys made sure that we had every opportunity available to us.

00:10:36 Steve

We tried the best we could, like every parent tries. I think the best they can.

00:10:41 Kristi

Yeah. And when we were little, I feel like we did a lot of different things. And I feel like that was really important to you that you know, we didn't just do sports or music or theater or whatever that we do a lot of different things.

00:10:56 Steve

I did think that it was important for you to try things. Yeah, sports, of course. We're a sports family and you know, I like I mentioned I'm one of six kids in my family. I'm probably the worst athlete out of the six. But but I enjoyed sports. I always did. So I knew that was something that you would participate.

00:11:13 Steve

And but you know, also I'd like to sing. I like being in the band. You know, I like church. I like. I wouldn't let you be an alter girl. But, you know, that's my own chauvinistic thing. But, you know, I wanted you to sing in the choir. I, you know, I was a Boy Scout. I wanted you to try Girl Scouts. It was like I wanted you to try all of the things that.

00:11:31 Steve

I tried not saying that I liked everything that I did.

00:11:34 Steve

But I think it's super important to to get exposure to try different things. You never know what's going to stick and what you like. So yeah, I mean, it's if you leave a kid to themselves, they're gonna probably just want to sit in the house and play video games all day or what?

00:11:47 Steve

Whatever, you know, you kind of have to give them a little nudge and try different things. So it was important to me and important to your mom too. So.

00:11:55 Kristi

No, definitely. And I mean, I'm glad that we did so many different things like I feel like I have, you know, at least a general knowledge of a lot of different things now.

00:12:05 Steve

Oh yeah, you definitely do. You you do. That's great.

00:12:08 Kristi

You've been at, like, almost all of my rowing races for 15 years now, and some of those obviously have gone very badly, but some have obviously gone very well. So maybe what are some of the things that you know, you feel like you can do to help me?

00:12:15

Yeah.

00:12:30 Kristi

You know when things are going badly, but also when they're going well.

00:12:35 Steve

You've never really had.

00:12:37 Steve

Terrible races in your mind. You think they're terrible in the perspective of most people? They're probably not so bad, but I would say that when you're upset about something, like some growing event like that, you kind of beat up on yourself a little bit. What I try to do with you is I try to.

00:12:57 Steve

Try to talk to you. First of all, you're not always easy to get a hold of. You you kind of pull back a little bit, but when you I finally do get to talk to you.

00:13:07 Steve

I'll try to talk about other things, you know, talk about our family or.

00:13:12 Steve

You know, there's always some drama going on, some member of the family that's easy to get you distracted with.

00:13:19 Steve

You know about the world in general or whatever, and that after we've.

00:13:23 Steve

Talked for a.

00:13:23 Steve

Little while I'll try to bring it back around to the issue that you're worried about or concerned about, and then I try to get you to, you know, break it down a little bit.

00:13:35 Steve

You know, not be so critical kind.

00:13:40 Steve

Be a little broader about the view of it. Then I'll try to offer my opinion and tell you how I see things and I think sometimes that helps because I think the way other people see things is not the way that you see it yourself most times. So when I can get you to kind of not be so hard on yourself, you were able to step back and say, Oh yeah.

00:14:01 Steve

Maybe it's not as bad as I think it is, and maybe there is a way to get out of this and and build on it and you know, so that's my approach.

00:14:09 Kristi

It usually works pretty well. It's funny. I feel like a lot of people don't realize that I get so beat up about myself and that I take things pretty seriously because I do think that I keep it, like, really close. I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing. It just sort of exists.

00:14:29 Steve

You feel like you have to solve everything by yourself, right? I mean, as you get older and you do more things, you realize that none of us can do things all by ourselves. I mean, maybe some people can. I don't know. I certainly can't.

00:14:44 Steve

You know, and I'll try as hard as I can by myself.

00:14:46 Steve

But it's like.

00:14:47 Steve

You are one of the people that really are a little bit stubborn about it, right? You kind of.

00:14:53 Steve

You do need to recognize and you're. You're better about this. You do recognize now when you need some help and ask for some help. And I think that's useful.

00:15:00 Kristi

Yes, I've gotten better at it, but I could still be better.

00:15:04 Steve

Yeah, me too.

00:15:06 Kristi

But obviously you've also been at some of the very exciting races, so you were there, you were at the race when Javi and I qualified for the Olympics in 2021.

00:15:18 Steve

Oh my gosh, that was so exciting. It was down at Mercer. My friend John Pucker was with me. We were so excited about the race. You know, the first day is the time trials, and I think that you definitely weren't the fastest in the time trial with you did badly. And I'm like, you know, it's like when that happens, you're like,

00:15:33 Kristi

Ohh we did badly.

00:15:38 Steve

What's going on here?

00:15:39

Training.

00:15:40 Steve

And then I think at the semifinals, did you guys win your semi, you did win your?

00:15:45 Steve

Semifinal, right. Yeah.

00:15:47 Steve

Yeah. And then the final race, you were in your true fashion. You guys are always coming from behind, right? I think it was Megan O'Leary and.

00:16:00 Kristi

Ellen.

00:16:01 Steve

Ellen tomak. Mm-hmm. They were leading, right? Weren't they leading? And they had been the double in the previous Olympics. So they were the ones to beat. I don't remember. I don't remember them doing that well in the time trial or the semifinal. But in this final race, they went out quick. And we're watching you. And it's like, oh, my God.

00:16:02 Kristi

M.

00:16:19 Steve

And then of course, at the 1000 meter, you guys decided, OK, well, here we go. And then you just kept going and I was over talk about running down the side of the race. Course I you. I'm screaming and running like a maniac and so excited at Mercer it's you're lucky because you can get down to the end and you can actually see.

00:16:37 Steve

The finish, which is fun.

00:16:39 Steve

I saw you crossed the line 1st and my friend John was a little further down the race course and he hadn't seen the finish, but it was. You know, you won by like 5 seconds or something, I don't remember, but it looked a lot closer than it was.

00:16:52 Steve

I looked back at him and he's like, I've signaled that you won and we were both so excited and we could see you and your boat and you were so excited. And Jenny was so excited. It was just.

00:17:04 Steve

It was a great moment, really, really great moment and everybody else on the side, you know, watching too. We're, you know, we're so happy for me and so happy for you. It was a real.

00:17:16 Steve

You know, that's something I'll never forget. It was really, really great. And then I had to call your mom right away.

00:17:22 Steve

And you know.

00:17:23 Steve

Everybody. So it was it was exciting.

00:17:26 Kristi

It was exciting. It was so exciting and then we went to nomad pizza, remember? And I was like, so tired and exhausted I couldn't even eat any of the pizza.

00:17:39 Steve

Well, I remember before we got there, you guys went back to get back to the boathouse at Mercer, where I watched the race. So I drove over to see you after the race was over. And I did run into, I think it, I think it was Megan O'Leary saw me go up and she knew I was your father and.

00:17:59 Steve

She came over to me and she couldn't have been more gracious, you know, she had just lost her race and I'm sure was feeling disappointed. She remembered the feeling when she made her first Olympic team and she was so excited for you and it was like I thought it was just such a gracious thing to do.

00:18:15 Kristi

Yeah. No, you told us about that. That was so nice.

00:18:19 Steve

And then we did go for pizza and yeah, you were exhausted.

00:18:23 Steve

And.

00:18:25 Kristi

Yes. I obviously have had a lot of races where I come from behind, has it gotten less stressful to watch them or is it just the same amount of stress every time?

00:18:37 Steve

It is the same amount of stress every single time.

00:18:41 Steve

I mean, it makes for exciting racing whenever you retire, your highlight reel will be really great. It will be all of these come from behind wins it's like.

00:18:53 Steve

Yeah. So maybe in Paris, in the final rate in the a final race, you guys could just get out first and just stay first the whole way. That would make me happy.

00:19:02 Kristi

OK.

00:19:03 Steve

Kind of like watching this stuff. Like when they get into the, you know, a 20 point lead in the first quarter and carry it.

00:19:08 Steve

Through that makes me.

00:19:09 Kristi

Comfortable. OK. Yeah, that sounds good. We can do that.

00:19:15 Kristi

I feel like I've gotten some of my little I have a few little like superstitious tendencies and I feel like I got some of them from you. Are there any things that you like to do when I'm when I'm racing?

00:19:32 Steve

Well, I'll say this. So I'm.

00:19:35 Steve

Half Irish and I think of my superstitions come from my Irish heritage and I think I've successfully passed that on to you and Joe, which is great.

00:19:46 Steve

I have been known to particularly like at your international events. I happen to be wearing a shirt or a pair of shorts or some socks or something, and you have a good heat. I may wear those same things the next.

00:19:59 Steve

Day or you know.

00:20:01 Steve

Things like that. Yeah. I don't like like your mom will be watching.

00:20:07 Steve

You know the races and seeing who's in the lead or who's doing whatever. I refuse to do that for me. That jinxes the race. I can't. I can't kind of keep track of the, you know, the race as it's going on. It's just I have to focus on.

00:20:20 Steve

The finish, but there's.

00:20:21 Steve

Lots of little things during the day.

00:20:24 Kristi

I feel like there was one especially kind of funny story from I think, NCAA's senior year. And you had worn the same polo or whatever, and then the final day it, like, wasn't dry. And so you and Mom were trying to dry. The polo was very.

00:20:42 Kristi

Funny.

00:20:43

Yeah.

00:20:45 Steve

I have a shirt that I'm not going to tell you. What shirt it is, but I have a shirt that I love that I used to bring all the time, but I don't bring it anymore because you seem to be doing better when I leave.

00:20:56 Kristi

The shirt at home, OK.

00:20:59 Kristi

Which is your favorite rowing destination venue that that we've gotten to go to?

00:21:06 Steve

I I think you have to say that the Henley Royal Henley Regatta is it's an experience like none other. It's just so much fun and it's the way that the races are just you know, two boats and a single race is very exciting and the town is so charming and it's you. You really are away. I mean you're in Europe, you feel.

00:21:26 Steve

Like you're on vacation and it's an experience like no other except when it rains and then it's not so much fun and it rains there a lot. But but it is great. I would say, Henley is.

00:21:37 Steve

Henley is great, but.

00:21:38 Steve

We have been lucky. We've been to.

00:21:40 Steve

You know, when you raced in Prague, that was amazing. Serbia was also wonderful. We've been lucky. We've seen a lot of the world because of you.

00:21:46

So.

00:21:48 Steve

So.

00:21:48 Kristi

That's great. What are you most excited for about getting to go to the Olympics this summer?

00:21:54 Steve

While I'm so excited because we weren't able to go to Tokyo, you'd like everybody, right? We had all our tickets and stuff and panned and we couldn't go. We have a lot of people going, friends and family. It's going to be a lot to manage, but it's also going to be really fun. It's going to be.

00:22:14 Steve

A once in a lifetime experience, I think.

00:22:17 Steve

You know, like probably every parent we get so involved in the races of the day and we get nervous and we want you to have everything you want and we, you know, we just want you to have all your successes. So we get really nervous and stressful. So the race days can be very stressful leading up to them.

00:22:34

But.

00:22:35 Steve

I'm determined to really.

00:22:37 Steve

Embrace this whole experience in Paris and absorb it all and really take it all in. Have a good time and that's what I'm gonna do. I'm really, really excited for it.

00:22:47 Kristi

I'm so excited for you guys to go.

00:22:50 Kristi

Of course, so that you can be there for the racing, but also I think it's just so cool to have your kid compete in the Olympics and being there, you feel so special. And I'm just so excited for you guys to feel that because it is a huge deal, you know and.

00:23:10 Kristi

I just think that was one of the ******* about Tokyo. You know that you didn't get to experience.

00:23:17 Kristi

All of the.

00:23:19 Kristi

Sort of hoopla, so to speak.

00:23:23 Steve

That's true. We've been enjoying your successes, right? People we see are so happy for you and happy for us. And it's like it's a big deal. It's a big deal for you and your teammates. You know, you've worked hard and accomplished a lot and so many people are impressed by your accomplishments.

00:23:43 Steve

And it's fun, but.

00:23:46 Steve

Yeah, I think like there, you know, they should give U.S. special hats or something. So people can identify parents of the athletes, right?

00:23:55 Steve

Because I'd like to know who the other ones are.

00:23:59 Kristi

Yes, that's a very good idea. Kind of. Speaking of that, do you like? What advice would you say you would have for other parents? Maybe whose kids are in high school or college and sort of have aspirations of growing on the national team?

00:24:19 Steve

You know you should trust your child to know what they're doing is the right thing for them to do. You know, it's a different course than most parents courses with their children. Right? You go to college, you get a job and you work, and you give your advice or whatever on your career decisions or things.

00:24:40 Steve

Like that.

00:24:41 Steve

You know, you started working and you were rowing. And you, I remember you saying I'm not giving. I don't feel like I'm giving 100% to either my job or my rowing. And it's like it's not a good feeling.

00:24:53 Steve

And you said I think I have what it takes to make the Olympic team, if I if I row, if I go do this and contrary to what you I've heard you say on this podcast, but.

00:25:03 Steve

We were very supportive right away. We said you have your entire life to work. You don't have your entire life to pursue a dream like this. So you really should do it. And that's how I feel. And it's like we're fortunate that we were able to provide some support to you. You've also been able to support yourself.

00:25:21 Steve

But I would say to other parents, it's like, you know, obviously if you have a kid that's delusional and wants to do something that you know.

00:25:27 Steve

They can't do I?

00:25:28 Steve

Don't. I don't know how you support that and you do your best to try to steer them in another direction. But when it's in front of you like you're in front of us or many kids are in front of their parents and they have the ability.

00:25:41 Steve

And they also have the determination and the drive. Then you do everything you can to support their dream because.

00:25:47 Steve

That's going to make them a more complete, better, happy person, and no doubt about it. And you're going to get so much joy on the journey too. So I would say support them, do what you can to support them.

00:25:59 Kristi

No, you guys supported me the whole time. You just said maybe you would have worked for a few more years before you stopped working.

00:26:06 Steve

I've been working a long time. You've there's.

00:26:07 Steve

Plenty of time to work.

00:26:11 Kristi

Do you have any sort of favorite memories from my different, like rowing escapades over the years?

00:26:19 Steve

Oh, I have so many happy memories. I have so many different memories.

00:26:25 Steve

Your senior year in college, your NCAA race at Yale was again, you know, from behind.

00:26:33 Steve

Coming up in the finals and it was like, you know, they had the Jumbotron on TV and they're talking about, I forget who they were calling you, but not Yale. They were saying you were somebody else. You know, we we couldn't see. We're trying to watch the race and then all of a sudden we could see you come into view and you're like, you know, you came maybe from 5th place.

00:26:53 Steve

And you're barreling up. And you?

00:26:55 Steve

Mist winning the whole thing by 71 hundredths of a second or something like that. It was a three-way photo finish. It was the most exciting race at that whole. You know of regatta? I couldn't have been happier for you at that day. The girls that were in your boat are amazing women that I know so well and.

00:27:16 Steve

It was great. That was really, really a fun one. I remember one that wasn't so fun was you were racing with Sonny in the trials before Rio. I think rigging on your boat broke, but we didn't know what it was. I was down at Nate Benderson Park and I'm watching.

00:27:26 Kristi

Hmm.

00:27:36 Steve

You know, standing on the side, waiting for you to come and you guys were doing pretty well, right?

00:27:41 Steve

You know you're coming up and then all of a sudden your boat is nowhere. And then I'm like, where are they? And then I see you kind of paddle over to the side. And I thought you had her injured yourself or she had or something. That was a horrible thing, you know? So I'm like, running down. They had, like, you blocked off. You couldn't go any further. And I'm like, no, you don't understand. I need to go see them.

00:28:03 Steve

Yeah, down there.

00:28:04 Steve

And of course, you were super upset and so was she. So was she another good one was time trial before Tokyo and the not the time trial, the speed order, the single speed order. That was a really fun regatta too. Again, you came in from behind. Snuck into, I think the a final. I don't know it's there's.

00:28:15 Kristi

Hmm.

00:28:23 Steve

So many races where you're.

00:28:24 Steve

You know you're coming from behind to get in there to make it to the grand final.

00:28:28 Steve

And then doing.

00:28:28 Steve

Well, and yeah, that was a really great race.

00:28:32 Steve

We weren't, unfortunately, at Switzerland for your last race, but you know, I watched it 100 times. I made everybody in my office watch it. That was an amazing race, an amazing race. So, I mean, it's been so much fun. It's been great. Great.

00:28:47 Kristi

It has been great. Yeah, it's funny now. Bad times don't seem so bad, but they seem so bad in the moment.

00:28:57 Steve

Right, right. Well, you've certainly had obstacles all along the way I've been.

00:29:02 Steve

Saying you need.

00:29:02 Steve

To write this down, this is going.

00:29:04 Steve

To be a great chapter in your book.

00:29:06 Kristi

Yes, yes. How do you feel? Like rowing has helped my confidence.

00:29:16 Steve

It's something that you are at this point in your life. You're an expert at, right there are, you know, some people that know more about it than you. I mean, obviously some of the coaches know more about.

00:29:27 Steve

It.

00:29:27 Steve

Than you but.

00:29:28 Steve

There's not many people that know more about.

00:29:30 Steve

Going I think anybody that becomes an expert in their field naturally gets a lot of confidence. You have a lot of confidence in your sport and what you're doing. And I think that spills over into everything that you do or in your life or that you try to do because you have that experience behind you where something that you've learned and you've mastered.

00:29:50 Steve

And you understand you now have the understanding that you can really do that with anything.

00:29:55 Steve

Hopefully you have that understanding because you because you can't. It's like anything new. You don't succeed at normally initially, but with little work and perseverance you do. You can master really anything. Any trade you want to do. You know anything. So I think it has helped your confidence a lot.

00:30:11 Kristi

Yeah, I think so too.

00:30:14 Kristi

Is there anything else that I didn't ask you about that you wanted to talk about?

00:30:19 Steve

You didn't ask me about. You told me you were.

00:30:21 Steve

Gonna ask me about my growing experience.

00:30:22 Kristi

Oh, sorry. Yes. Please share your own growing experience.

00:30:29 Steve

So I did learn to row and there was a woman, Anna, who was my instructor. I did it with my friend John Pucker. We talked about earlier and Patty, my wife.

00:30:39 Steve

And we were able to do it out of a little boathouse in Newton. It was like an extension of CRI. So it was great. This really quiet little place. I had no idea how hard it was. You guys make it look so easy and effortless, but it is far from easy and effortless. But it was really fun. I mean, it was really fun.

00:30:59 Steve

And the, you know, the gains are pretty quick. You know from when you start pretty soon you're able to take the training wheels off your bow.

00:31:07 Steve

You know the little pontoons, which is kind of fun. I didn't realize how peaceful and quiet it is when you finally are able to get into a boat and get out there and row and you're out there with nature. It's beautiful. Spectacular. I did flip my boat once, and that was an unusual experience.

00:31:27 Steve

It's happened sort of like in slow motion. I don't know if you've ever flipped your boat, but it happens, kind of in slow motion and your boat is just going over and you have no way to stop it and you just have to go.

00:31:31 Kristi

Yes, many times.

00:31:38

Oh.

00:31:40 Steve

It's really funny and then trying to get the boat righted and trying to get yourself back into the boat, which I was able to do, is probably one of the hardest things I've done in a really, really.

00:31:50 Steve

Long time but.

00:31:51 Steve

No, I'm really, really glad I did it because we spent so much time watching you and supporting you and your friends and teammates that I really do feel like it's given me better perspective.

00:32:03 Steve

As far as like asking you a question, is that the time for this or not?

00:32:05 Kristi

Yes, yes, you may ask me a question now if you would like.

00:32:10 Steve

So I wanna ask you a question about perspective for you. How has your perspective changed from saying now to four years ago or five years ago?

00:32:21 Steve

Does experience change things for you, or how do you approach your career?

00:32:27 Kristi

I think that perspective is helpful mostly in that when I have a bad day, I recognize that everyone has bad days sometimes and so it's OK that I feel frustrated or upset, but also that I understand that that is a temporary feeling.

00:32:49 Kristi

And that I am not horrible because I had one bad day and I think that when I was a younger athlete, my self worth sometimes would be tied to how I was doing in rowing.

00:33:04 Kristi

That was mostly probably true, like in college. Honestly, I think college rowing was the hardest thing I've ever done. So everything's been a bit easier since then.

00:33:17 Kristi

But I'm also appreciative now for that time and there were just also so many wonderful things that came out of that, like I wouldn't want to trade it because it's my best friends and so many amazing experiences and so many like life lessons that I learned.

00:33:37 Kristi

I think the other thing that's really interesting is I still see myself in the same way in a lot of ways, and that's been really helpful in that like ohh. Apparently people that win World Cups can.

00:33:52 Kristi

Catch diggers or can take bad strokes or whatever. And I think that perspective is really good. Like no one is perfect and no one is doing amazing 100% of the time.

00:34:04 Steve

I haven't. Can I ask you another question?

00:34:05 Kristi

Sure, dad.

00:34:07 Steve

If you had to start this over again.

00:34:11 Steve

What would you do differently? You know, I don't know. Would you have? Would you advocate for yourself differently, or would you approach things differently? Or do you think the path that you took is the way that you would do it again and recommend that other kids do it, you know?

00:34:25 Kristi

Well, first of all, I think that you and mom always taught us to advocate for ourselves, and I think I've gotten over the years like positive feedback from coaches or teachers or bosses or whatever that I do, advocate for myself in a respectful way, you know, while being very respectful of authority figures.

00:34:46 Kristi

And.

00:34:47 Kristi

Being calm and have collecting my thoughts beforehand and not approaching it, you know, with emotion but with logic. And I think I've actually always been somewhat good at that.

00:35:00 Kristi

I'm not sure. I mean, I think that it was frustrating to me over the years. I felt like no matter what I did, it wasn't quite enough and I didn't understand why I could be beating people in races and they still got opportunities over me. Eventually I learned that.

00:35:19 Kristi

I shouldn't be striving to be 15th in the country, I should be striving to be first in the country and 1st in the world, and I think that ultimately.

00:35:31 Kristi

Changing that perspective is what has allowed me to now be performing at the level that I am. Maybe I could have learned that lesson in a different way, but you know, I'm grateful for the time I had in Boston. I'm grateful for the time that I had in Saratoga. I'm grateful that I got to have the opportunity to retrain with Javi, and now I'm grateful for.

00:35:52 Kristi

You know the opportunity I get to train with the national team intro with Sophia, so.

00:35:57 Kristi

I don't know if I should say like I don't wish anything had happened differently because there were definitely things that were really frustrating and I didn't understand why they were happening, but also like everyone's journey is different and that's probably the advice I would give to people. Just because your story isn't exactly the same as somebody else's doesn't mean it's not going to.

00:36:18 Kristi

Be successful for you.

00:36:19 Steve

That's great.

00:36:21 Kristi

Well, thanks, dad. I really appreciate it. And happy Happy Father's Day.

00:36:28 Steve

Well, thank you, sweetheart. You make me proud and I'm happy to be your.

00:36:32 Steve

Father.

00:36:33 Kristi

Ohh well I'm I'm happy to have you as my father. I I love you too.

00:36:33 Steve

And your brothers, father?

00:36:44 Kristi

Thanks for listening and thank you so much to Dad for coming on. It was actually probably one of the more emotional conversations I've had on the podcast, but so special to be able to share that with all of you guys listening.

00:36:57 Kristi

So to close the show this week, I am sharing a quote from Tom Brady because he was honored in New England this week and his jersey was retired. And I just like the quote as well. So Tom Brady said sometimes some of the toughest things you deal with end up being the best things because you realize the people you can rely on that love you and support you through.

00:37:18 Kristi

It.

00:37:18 Kristi

So thanks for listening. Have a great week. Bye.

00:37:25 Kristi

I'd love to hear from you. So send us a topic suggestion or if you'd like to submit a question for our ASK. Christy, anything segment head to our website, theotherthreeyears.com. Thank you for listening to this episode of the other three years podcast. Part of the bright sided network.